Radha Durga’s Lilas

The Heart That Found Its Way

Swami Brijkishor met Guruji in 2007 at age 16. Passionate only about basketball, he dreamed of going pro. His parents, already connected with Paramahamsa Vishwananda, told him Guruji was a realised master who could bless people with health, success, and happiness.

Curious, he went to meet Guruji intending to ask for blessings to become a professional player—but the encounter transformed him. Instead, he asked Guruji to make him a saint.

´That’s when my spiritual journey truly began. In 2008, I became a brahmacārī in Mauritius and received my spiritual name, Brijkishor.

Swami Anashuya soon gathered a few of us, took us to the temple, and taught us pūjā and abhiṣekam. I was enthusiastic.

When I returned home, I wondered whom I should offer pūjā to. At first, I did it for Guruji. Then one day, I noticed a small statue on the window ledge — a man holding a flute. Suddenly I realised, “That’s Kṛṣṇa!”. My mother had bought it years earlier as decoration, so I began worshipping Kṛṣṇa with it.

Pūjā and abhiṣekam became my main practices and still are today. Later, I also began doing kīrtana and studying spiritual knowledge, but pūjā and abhiṣekam have always remained closest to my heart.´

When Guruji invited him and his parents to the Steffenshof āśrama, he immediately fell in love with the devotional life there and dreamed of staying permanently.

Guruji told him that if he truly wanted to become a saint, he would need to live in the āśrama, and that its doors would always be open to him.

But as a Russian citizen, getting a visa or residency was difficult. Nothing worked, and he grew desperate, even wondering if Guruji heard his prayers. Then Guruji sent a message: “I hear your prayers. Don’t worry, you will get what you want.”

´But during that period, while attending university, I left the spiritual path for three years. I read other books, made non-devotee friends, and grew angry with Guruji. We even argued, and once He told me, “Go find another guru.” I turned to worldly life — parties, alcohol, friends, career — but felt empty inside. What brought me back was the Sangha and my mother’s love for Guruji.

In 2015, I was invited to play mṛdaṅga at the first Just Love Festival. I planned to stay a week but stayed for three months. The āśrama later invited me to live there permanently and after finishing paperwork in Russia, I finally moved in 2016.´

Back then, the new temple was under construction, and through sevā he was allowed to enter. The moment he walked in, he felt, “I want to be a pūjārī here.” He had always dreamed of serving a big deity. A few months before the opening, he prayed intensely to Guruji to make him a pūjārī and asked Swami Keshava to confirm. The answer came back: “Guruji said okay.”

´I was thrilled but surprised to be assigned to Rādhā-Durgā. My heart had always been with Kṛṣṇa, and Devī felt unfamiliar. I worked hard, but emotionally it was difficult. After six months, I told Guruji I was struggling to connect with Her. He replied, “If you struggle, then you’re not a pūjārī anymore.” It was painful, but since He never told me to stop, I kept serving while waiting for a replacement.

He sometimes reminded me. Once, while I was undressing Rādhā-Durgā, He came behind the curtain, saw me, and said, “Oh, we are looking for a replacement for you.”

During this period, I served every day as if it were my last chance. Slowly, my love for Rādhā-Durgā grew. I didn’t fully understand Her, but I focused on serving so others could feel Her presence.

When dressing Her, every detail mattered. I could finish in fifteen minutes but often took over an hour to make everything perfect. One evening, Guruji came during prayers, looked at Her, and asked, “Who dressed Her today?” When He heard it was me, He smiled: “She’s happy.”

That meant everything. I realized deities truly respond to love. When people saw Her radiant, it wasn’t just the clothes — it was the devotion behind them. Guruji always said that when deities are served with love, they become eager to bless everyone who comes.´

Swami Brijkishor used to be very strict about cleanliness in the temple and disliked it when others left things untidy. Over time, he realized he was also imperfect and sometimes too critical. Someone once told him, “You look for others’ mistakes but don’t see your own,” which made him reflect deeply. From then on, he stopped criticizing and simply cleaned when needed, learning an important lesson in humility.

Looking back, he now sees everything — the waiting, struggles, and failures — as blessings. His only regret is that he once feared Guruji; he now understands that Guruji’s guidance was always meant to help him grow.

Although he is not as close to Guruji as before, he feels His presence strongly through His teachings. When he shares them with others, he feels Him the most. As Guruji said, “One day I will leave, but My teachings will remain.”

Ultimately, Swami Brijkishor’s journey shows that the spiritual path is not about perfection but about sincerity, perseverance, and openness to growth. Mistakes, delays, and doubts can become blessings when met with humility. True progress comes from returning again and again to love, service, and the teachings that guide us. When we walk the path with an open heart, grace finds its way to us — wherever we are.

A Dot of Light Before the Divine

´Jai Gurudev, my name is Vrishakapiananda, and I’ve been with Guruji for almost six years.

I first met Him at Shree Peetha Nilaya during Country Week, having come from Spain with a joyful group from Spain and Portugal. In just four days filled with grace and activities, I received three Darshans and became a devotee.

I hadn’t known what to expect—only that a friend had said, “You have to go.” The journey took all my savings, and I didn`t knew much about Hindu culture. But during a Devotee Course with Swamini Prabhavati, as she explained what it meant to be a devotee, I felt a deep recognition—I was ready.

When I heard that some had waited ten years for initiation, I thought, I don’t want to wait—I want what Guruji wishes to give now. So, I told Swamini, “I want to become a devotee.” The next day—my birthday—she initiated me, and that evening, during my third Darshan, Guruji gave me my name: Vrishakapi Das.´

After that visit, Vrishakapi returned to Madrid as a devotee and dedicated himself fully to sevā for about a year and a half. In 2021, he came back to Shree Peetha Nilaya for the Just Love Festival—and never left.

His first sevā was wood-splitting—an intense period of transformation under Guruji’s guidance. Later, he served a year in marketing, another in the Bhakti Shop, and two years with the events team.

After Navaratri 2022, shortly after becoming a brahmacārī, Swami Kuru asked, “Do you want to be a pūjārī of Rādhā-Durgā?” Vrishakapi instantly agreed, and Guruji approved.

When his new service was confirmed, he went to see Rādhā-Durgā for the first time. Standing before Her altar, he felt an overwhelming wave of love and knew he was very blessed to serve Her.

´It took me about six months to feel truly at ease with Rādhā-Durgā. I wanted to serve Her perfectly, yet at first, I felt unworthy and blessed beyond my dreams.

After becoming a pūjārī, I also started serving in the pūjā kitchen. Before that, I had coordinated temple cleaning, so it felt like going from a beggar to a prince.

Serving any deity is a great privilege. I knew the basics of pūjā and abhiṣekam, so the morning abhiṣekam was easy, but the rest demanded more.

At the time each day began at 4 a.m.—walking from the village, waking Her, dressing and adorning Her so She would look radiant when the curtains opened at seven. What once took an hour and a half now flows naturally, and every morning still feels like a blessing.´

He never complained about early mornings, and as his service continued, his connection with Her deepened; he grew more attuned to Her presence, and his sevā became effortless and full of love.

He also had several mystical experiences. During the Gāyatrī Yajña in 2023, he saw his soul as a tiny dot traveling along a radiant beam of light toward God—an endless journey into the Divine.

That evening, still filled with the grace of that vision, he returned to serve Rādhā-Durgā once more and asked Her:

´“If I’m just a small dot of light, who are You?” When I closed my eyes, I saw Her as a vast, shining light—so great beside my smallness. I cried, feeling blessed to serve such a radiant Presence. That vision still humbles me.

Another time I asked, “Rādhā-Durgā, what’s the difference between offering only pañcāmṛta and offering all the elements in abhiṣekam?” She answered gently, “It’s for your benefit, not Mine.”

I understood then—my offerings don’t help Her; they help me.

Serving Her has taught me to care for every detail, especially when dressing Her. Sometimes I forget things, but through silence, She shows me what She wants.

Even when I feel tired, I try my best for Her, because when She is happy, everyone in the temple is blessed.´

Vrishakapi says that serving Rādhā-Durgā is a journey from ignorance to divine awareness—moving through darkness with the light of bhakti. Over time, he came to see Her dual nature: Durgā as strength and Rādhā as pure devotion. Through this strength of love, he believes, one can pierce illusion and come closer to the Divine.

Guruji rarely visits Her altar, and when He does, it’s brief and quiet—He simply looks at Her and leaves. He spoke to Vrishakapi about Her only once. Soon after he became a brahmacārī and pūjārī, while he was putting Her to sleep, Guruji appeared behind the curtain, smiled, and said, “You look like a monster beside Her.”

Vrishakapi laughs when he recalls it—his height does help when dressing Her, since She is small but placed high on the altar.

´My relationship with Guruji has changed over time. Becoming a pūjārī brought me closer to Him during events. Serving Her has been a great blessing, giving me those rare moments of being physically near Guruji.

As a pūjārī, I also see what happens behind the scenes in the pūjā kitchen—the intensity, coordination, stress, and joy that few people ever witness.

I remember one event when everything was ready and the pūjā kitchen was calm. The moment Guruji entered, that calm turned to joyful chaos—everyone started moving, adjusting, and preparing. When He comes, the whole atmosphere changes, and you just have to flow with it.

But in that chaos, there’s always grace. Being close to Guruji teaches what true service means—when to act and when to be still.

There are also light, happy moments. In the pūjā kitchen, Guruji often jokes with us—relaxed and playful, so different from the formal way He appears outside.´

For Vrishakapi, serving Rādhā-Durgā is a journey of love, devotion, and transformation. Through sevā, he has grown closer to Her, learned attention and care, and experienced mystical moments that deepen his connection to the Divine.

Her presence inspires love, humility, and awareness, reminding us that the love we carry in our hearts is God. By serving and remembering Her, we are guided back to the Divine, experiencing grace, joy, and spiritual awakening.